Good within my years.

It seems like I can always find the bad in life and never see the good. When I think of my past, all I can ever see is what bad happened to me. I can't say that any year was a good year, because it always seems like something fucked up happened. Why can't I look past the negativity? I want to see the positive in life. I want to see the positive in my past. And I want the hope for a good future. But all I ever see is things going wrong, or not being happy. I'm not sad, but I can't say I'm happy. I guess I just want things to be perfect, when in reality, nothing can ever be perfect. Nothing can ever go exactly as planned. My brain just can't accept that. For some reason I just want to point out the mishaps, the mistakes, the arguments, the fights, the trouble. But I know there was good within my years. It just doesn't stand out as much as the bad. All in all I guess the only reasonable conclusion is that I'm a pessimistic person, that can be something that helps me or it could be the tragic flaw.